Made the decision to start off the day with a little creation before heading into the normal busywork that become my average morning. Since it’s about time for me to change my desktop wallpaper, it was only natural that my energy would bend in that direction.

I stumbled across the quote in an article from Zen Habits regarding Life as a Conscious Practice, and it struck a chord with me. Feel free to download the screen resolution that is best suited for you and enjoy. Also, note that there’s a couple at the end which can be used for tablets like the iPad and mobile devices.

Pick a size, any size… 1024 x 768, 1280 x 800, 1440 x 900, 1680 x 1050, 1920 x 1200, 2560 x 1440, tablet/iPad, mobile/iPhone

in one way or another, my life has been a process
of navigating from one disaster to the next, moving
from mistake to mistake, pushing my course further
and further away from the source. a series of
blunders that somehow finds me home each
and every time.

truth to be told, that’s how most of our lives
are – just moving from one spot to another
and praying that the whole thing doesn’t explode
along the way – that our mistakes aren’t great
enough to warrant punishment from the gods,
that our meager actions will go unnoticed
and unheralded just long enough that
we can escape with our pittance before the guards awake.

floating there with nothing left to lose,
my next move wasn’t clear to anyone including
myself, and especially myself. but somehow, it
has found me here to this house with this family,
to this poem and this beer and this
summer night so full of possibility and promise
that the gods are screaming in delight
as the bats sing their crazy cries from
the trees.

putting it that way, it all seems
worth it.

Whether it was trying to get into uniform on a moving bus with 40 other people because we were late to a competition, getting dressed AND warming up because we were so late that as to miss our prep time, or just changing drill sets an hour or two before a performance. It always seemed that time was the enemy and we were always just on the cusp of being finished… but never quite getting there comfortably. Don’t get me wrong, it was a blast and I wouldn’t change anything – but it did teach me something about not fearing chaos.

One drill that we used in college that I’ve rehashed in my head over and over was doing the show off the line – in other words, take the entire band (which has just gotten to the field) and tell them get your horn out, warm up to a minute, and then do the show form the beginning without any long prep. You have to practice how you’ll perform and sometimes, performances don’t take place under ideal circumstances.

All of which leads me to something that Sam, the guitar player for my band, came across and shared on Facebook – Practicing vs. Playing Live (from Guitar Player). It’s a short read, so I won’t bother quoting anything – it’s worth the 3 minutes of your time, whether you apply it to music or not.

Don’t fear chaos – accept it, prepare for it, and use it to your advantage.

That being said, I’m completely convinced that not only is Danny Ainge a poor general manager, but he is a complete nincompoop as well.

Why else would be fully engaged in his third annual “Desperately Trying To Trade Rajon Rondo” Sweepstakes in 2011? Every year, Rondo seems to get better. Every year Danny Ainge tries harder to get him off the team. It’s like some sort of passive-aggressive vendetta. Did Rondo run over his dog during his rookie year or something? What gives?

For those willing to cite his lack of a consistent jumper and clutch scoring – save it. You’re describing the perfect point guard, which would be nice… if they existed. In every sport, every single player has faults – it’s the GM’s job to use strengths of one player to mask the weaknesses of another. Coach up what you can, hide what you can’t. Maybe he isn’t the top guy in the league – but he’s in the upper echelon, he’s young, he’s under contract for a reasonable amount of money, and mostly importantly, he’s had success in the pressure cooker that is Boston.

Why trade away a young player whom you can build around to support an aging cast of veterans who are for the most part over the hill and won’t be playing at all in another year or two? If Ainge was really that interested in winning a championship NOW, then he wouldn’t have traded Kendrick Perkins in what was really the last season of Boston’s current championship window. Perkins was playing for a new contract somewhere, the Celtics needed a big man, and they had no realistic alternative to replace him. Ah, but that would be asking for some type of consistency from Danny Dumbbell, which is a ridiculous expectation in itself.

Is it blasphemy to say these things about the GM who brought the Celtics to their 17th championship? No, because the man got lucky. Bringing Ray Allen and Kevin Garnett together was a Hail Mary to save his job and keep Paul Pierce happy enough to stay in Boston – and it worked out better than could’ve been realistically expected. No one could’ve imagined that Ray Allen had this much tread left on his tires and Danny was lucky enough that Kevin McHale was an even worse GM than himself to accept Al Jefferson and an expired Dunkin Donuts gift card for KG. Throw in drafting Rondo in the first place and you’re looking at the 3 really good moves that Ainge has made during his 8 years working for the Celtics. Not exactly the most impressive track record.

Luckily, it appears that Ainge will be saved from himself by the object of his desires, Chris Paul. Seems that even if the Celts could swing a deal for Paul that involved Rondo package deal, Paul wouldn’t sign an extension with the team – meaning that he’d be a very costly one year rental.

Maybe it’s all about motivating Rondo to get better. Maybe it’s Danny being a complete hammerhead. Both are possibilities, but I’d probably lay my money on option #2.

Over the past 10 years, the Boston Red Sox gave the impression of being somewhere between a well-run and model franchise. They were owned by people who cared about winning, tradition, the fans, and making a buck. Rather than wade into the “We need a new stadium… now!” waters, they looked at the situation, concluded that it wouldn’t get done and proceeded to renovate the living bejeezus out of Fenway Park to the delight of their fans and gobs of profit for themselves. See, I don’t mind team owners making a profit – even an obscene one – so long as they reinvest in the team, try to win, and don’t treat the fans like complete rubes. Keep that in mind because it’ll be important later.

Hope everyone enjoyed that decade of competency because all signs point to it being over. In the past week, the Sox have lost the manager and GM who helped the franchise get off an 86-year World Series schnide and then followed it up with another trophy three years later. Instead of shaking hands, smiling big for the camera and wishing them well, the organization has by all appearances shown them the door and then pushed them off the curb in front of a speeding cement truck. Allegations of painkiller abuse, airing the manager’s personal business, splitting hairs about whom was more responsible than whom when it came to certain personnel moves. It’s getting ugly enough around here that Yankees fans are placing calls to sports radio shows saying “Hey, maybe we collapsed in the playoffs, but at least we’re not the Red Sox”… and there’s no comeback for it.

Personally, I’ll miss Francona more than Epstein and it’s a mixture of business and personal. But let’s be clear – without both of those guys, the Sox don’t win in 2004, period. Theo shipped a local hero out of town for 60 cents on the dollar to get defensive help and cleanse the clubhouse – a move 19 out of 20 executives would never make. Had the Sox not hired Francona, Schilling probably doesn’t sign and there wasn’t enough pitching to get to the playoffs let alone the Series. But if I had to choose, I’d have rather seen Tito stick around and said good-bye to Theo every day and twice on Sunday. Francona managed the last 3 seasons knowing that one of the owners wanted him gone, dealt with Manny for how many years, dealt with all the crap from this year’s collapse, knew he wasn’t coming back, and yet was still gracious enough on the way out to continue taking bullets for his players, his GM, and the owners. Even after all these leaks regarding him, not a peep because he won’t get down and crawl in the mud with them. That’s class folks, and it’s sorely missing in this day and age.

Theo… It almost seemed like there was two guys at work. “Good Theo” was drafting and developing talent, building a fantastic farm system for the future. “Bad Theo” was out there signing horrendous free agent details and damn near driving “Good Theo” to drink. For every decent signing, it seemed there was another that was just plain bad before the ink even dried. I won’t even get into Carl Crawford because it’s one year and even Ted Williams had a bad year – besides, they’re stuck with him, so let’s hope he reverts back to form. John Lackey? That fish began stinking immediately. Too much money, too many years, and all for a guy who was never truly a top pitcher anyways. Curt Schilling and Keith Foulke were great. JD Drew? Bobby Jenks? Yikes.

Epstein always seemed to get a little too cute for his own good – and nowhere is this more evident than the revolving door that’s been shortstop over the last seven years. Instead of signing the guy who helped them win the World Series – a player who not only excelled but raised his game in the playoffs on the biggest stage imaginable – he went and signed the guy who was the last out for the opposing team. Sure, Edgar Renteria looked better on paper, but he never had the pressure he’d have in Boston while playing under a big contract – that worked out well, huh? How about Julio Lugo, who was sucked so badly with the Sox that they paid his entire salary to play an entire year for another team? Most recently, it’s been the Scutaro/Lowrie pupu platter, which is only an improvement in the sense that a 1993 Ford Festiva is an upgrade over a 1989 Ford Tempo.

Mostly what I’ll miss is the sense that the franchise was in good hands. Not only have these guys managed to piss off two of the biggest reasons why they’d won two championships and their investment was essentially a very large cash machine, but they’ve done it in such a way that diminishes the intelligence of the fans. Everyone knows that Theo and Tito had faults, but they also got the job done where dozens of others had failed. The owners played a big part in that by spending the money, increasing revenue to keep up with the Yankees, and improving the fan experience. For whatever reason, they’ve apparently come to the conclusion that all that goodwill is worthless and are now treating the fans like complete rubes. Tito was on drugs! What a load.

At the end of the day, the Sox are heading into a long, dark tunnel right now and no one is sure where the light comes in. Writers are turning on the team, the owners are turning on their employees, and the only thing expanding faster than the waistlines of certain players is the indignity of the fans. Everything has gone wrong, everyone is on the trading block, and the first people out the door were the ones who carried themselves with dignity and presented a professional face to the franchise. Yeah, good thing they got rid of those guys…

Sometimes, things just work out.

Seven years ago today, at about this time of the afternoon, I married the woman of my dreams. Kim and I met, of all places, in a Chevy dealership while I was doing my best to become the world’s worst car salesman. We dated for a little over two months before I proposed. I didn’t plan it out, didn’t have a ring (or the money to buy a ring), and no inclination other than this was the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

We were married in Portland, Maine on a day sort of like this one – an 80-degree October day that seems to be all the proof a rational person would need to prove climate change. After telling our guests that it was only a short walk from the church to the reception, we realized that most everyone who followed our seemingly solid advice would be showing up sweating like Willie Nelson at a tax audit. Of course, one bit of planning had saved them an even warmer walk – we’d started the wedding at 5 pm, which was due to the Patriots-Dolphins game at 1 pm. Once I’d sprung that on Kim and she’d dealt with it in stride, I figured it was definitely meant to be. After all, it’s one thing to propose to a woman at 10 pm with no ring and in such an abrupt way that she has to ask a half dozen times whether it’s a joke – it’s quite another to ask a woman to schedule the day she’s been dreaming about since the age of 5 for a midseason football game.

Through it all, she’s put up with various forms of idiocy on my part and managed to stifle the urge to smother me in my sleep after some particularly lively discussions. What I appreciate most about Kim is the little things – her laugh, her smile, her sense of humor, and that she had the huevos to play guitar for me after our first date.

Sometimes, things just work out. And sometimes, they work out better than you could’ve ever imagined. Thank you for saying yes Kim, you’re everything I wanted and more importantly, everything I needed too. I love you deliriously.

It’s tough to start out this by saying “when Facebook made their latest changes” because by the time I’m finished typing, something else will have changed. Makes this whole thing a bit dodgy to begin with, but then again that sums up Facebook pretty well these days, doesn’t it? Dodgy. Which makes sense because after humble beginnings, widespread adoption, and a movie… the only thing left is either a slow, painful decline or for the entire thing to crumble. Either that, or the bass player is going to be discovered dead in a cheap motel bathtub shortly before the band hits big. Sometimes I get confused on these things…

I really don’t want to complain about Facebook – honestly, I don’t. The entire service is free, keeps me in touch with folks who I’d normally be too much of a slacker to search for, and generally provides enough amusing material to be worth a laugh from time to time. The idea is good. I just wish the implementation wasn’t so absolutely gawdawful that it’s like having your doctor prescribe Drain-O for a sore throat. What was the first thing that you did when landing in your news feed? Clicked it over to “recent” – where it should have been by default the entire time. Screeds of great length were dedicated to this monument of idiocy, grievances filed, and millions basically got ticked off… and then finally made peace with it. So what does Facebook do after a year or so alone with all that feedback? They don’t even allow you to flip it over read from top to bottom – you now click and it shoots you down the page to maybe (if it’s working that day) read the most recent happenings. Of course, the entire thing is blipping downwards from time to time because the news feed piled on top of it keeps updating, but hey… imperfect world. Screws fall out. Supposedly bigger and better (read: dumber and more useless) changes are coming.

What makes this sad isn’t that Facebook is constantly screwing with their free service to make it less usable. It isn’t even the fact that they don’t care about their users because they’re actually the product being sold to everyone with a checkbook and a hankering to gain a buttload of very personal and intimate knowledge about potential consumers. It’s that one isn’t completely mutually exclusive of the other.

I use Facebook with the knowledge that my very presence on the system is being bought and sold as a commodity to some faceless corporation who will use that knowledge to one day build their own secret island headquarters in preparation to take over the world. (Maybe. I’m guessing on that one.) However, I also happen to be a slacker when it comes to keeping in contact with people, so it’s worth it to me. What’s so aggravating is that Facebook isn’t even trying to fool us about how much of a commodity we are. I mean sheesh, at least the machines tried to give Neo and the rest of mankind a perfect fake world – Mark Z and his cronies seem to be in the business only of selling information and seeing how many people they can piss off on a given day.

Of course, the irony here is that once I’m done typing this, I’ll rush over to Facebook and post a link so others can read it. Sort of like showing up to your bank protest 10 minutes early so you can deposit your check into savings. And of course something like 5 people will actually notice it because no one can actually sort out where any of their crap is anymore and we all become virtual shut-ins staring at each other through cyber drapes. Hey, I think the Anderson kid is playing Farmville again… and tipping over the garbage cans…

So why stick with it? Mostly because I missed out on MySpace and am too lazy for learning anything to do with Google Plus. Or +. Or whatever it’s called. Damn I feel old just typing this. Whatever. Which all means that when everyone has moved on to slobber over their new Google overlords and perhaps even what comes after that, I’ll be that one guy hanging out on Facebook. I’ll be easy to find too. Just look for the guy shooing imaginary kids off his virtual reality lawn.