Review: Super 8

Not to harp on movies this week, but I just came back from seeing Super 8 and my question is this – why can’t Hollywood put out more movies like this? A simple story told the right way with care, attention to detail, good performances, and special effects that are used to further the story instead of distract the audience from gaping holes in the plot. In a way, it’s sort of like a Bizarro Michael Bay movie in that way…

Go ahead and make all the lens flare jokes you want, but I’ll say this – JJ Abrams could say his next project is an adaptation of the phone book and I’d be on board. I think what makes his movies different than the shlock that parades through most weekends is commitment. After watching Cloverfield, it struck me that there was never that one character that explained everything that was going on or anything that took the audience out of the premise. The story was told from the perspective of a group of friends making their way through the city, and if that meant no one got to see the monster fully until the final 15 minutes of the movie, so be it. In today’s give-it-to-me-now culture, that’s a pretty big risk and I admire the guy for doing it. While Super 8 doesn’t make you wait as long, it’s the same premise – not showing you what’s roaming in the shadows adds to the movie and the suspense.

Now, I don’t want to take too many shots at Mikey Bay… okay, that’s a complete lie, but let’s move along anyways… but another thing that struck me about Super 8 is that within the first couple minutes of the flick, I began to care about the characters. I watched two Transformers movies and couldn’t possibly care less if someone told me “Oh, by the way, they kill off Shia LeBouf’s character in the first 5 minutes of Transformers 3.” Wouldn’t phase me at all because his character really doesn’t mean anything to me – maybe I’ve watched him save the planet a couple times, but there’s not much there otherwise. Maybe it’s because they’re kids in Super 8 – or maybe it’s some deep, unresolved anger I have towards LeBouf. Probably both.

Fact is, if studios cared a bit more about producing a decent movie occasionally instead of vapidly buying up every comic property they can get their grubby hands on and creating sequels nobody wants to see, perhaps they wouldn’t have to worry so much about pirates cutting into their profit margins. In fact, I’d put forth that about the only way someone would ever see half these crappy flicks prior to their arrival on basic cable would be if they could see them for free. Even then, there are some things that once they’ve been seen cannot be unseen. You know, like Jim Carrey running around with a bunch of penguins desperately pining for our adoration.

Michael Bay Wants To Kill My Childhood

There’s something about a Michael Bay film that makes me want to gouge my eyes out with a rusty pair of tweezers. Okay, maybe that’s being a bit harsh. I’d probably sterilize the tweezers first. Preventing infections is serious business…

In a downstairs bedroom, I have in my possession every single issue of the original run of Transformers comic books. My friends and I used to wonder where Optimus Prime’s trailer went to when he transformed from vehicle to robot. When the original animated Transformers movie came out in theaters, I was there opening weekend with my friends. Somewhere in the garage, I still have a couple of smaller action figures in a box somewhere.

I don’t say these things to earn a stamp on my geek credentials passport (although that’s more than likely been accomplished nicely), but to state for the record this fact: I care about the Transformers. For good or ill, it’s part of my personal history and I feel as though some part of me has a stake in their collective place in pop culture. Which is why I’d like to drive an entirely different stake through Michael Bay’s forehead.

Let’s not mince words here – the first Bay-helmed Transformers movie was disappointing, but still had enough moments that made me feel as though it wasn’t a complete loss. The second movie was a step down in almost every way – from story to dialogue to shot composition to plot holes so big Shockwave could set up a nice 3-bedroom apartment and still have room to park Devastator in there. Considering that second movie gave us such gems as clanging Decepticon genitalia, racial-stereotypes-gone-wild Autobot twins, and a small robot humping the leg of Megan Fox… I don’t have high hopes for the third movie.

The problem with the Transformers is the same as it was with that craptastic G.I. Joe live-action movie – there’s a decent movie to be made, but they whiffed on it. Had Stephen Sommers ripped this cartoon off, maybe added a little scene here or there, and then sent the thing to be scored – the world would’ve been a better place. Instead, we got an entire movie of backstory that was so utterly transparent it could’ve been summed up in a 10-minute flashback at the beginning of the next movie. Same deal with Transformers – the source material is there. No need to re-invent the wheel – just give us some characters to care about, a story that makes sense, and then some giant frackin’ robots battling it out on the big screen. Cut and print. But nooooooo… Mikey Bay had to prove just how clever he was and give us his interpretation of the Transformers mythology. Only problem is, Mikey just isn’t that clever. He likes big explosions and tons of characters running around doing things – doesn’t matter that no one is entirely sure what they’re doing or why they’re doing it, he just wants them to be doing it fast with lots of fire around them and in slow motion if at all possible. No logic, no common sense, and no depth of story or character allowed.

Now, since I’ve been taking this stance there have been lots of good comments circulating around that Transformers 3 is pretty good and worth seeing in the theatre. Perhaps. However, my take is that even if the third flick is better than the second (and possibly the first), it’s just another flawed series along the lines of the Star Wars prequels. A decent idea that because of a flawed beginning was never going achieve its potential and always be playing catch up.

Bottomline – perhaps Michael Bay needs to pay less attention to his explosions and a bit more attention to the reasons for the explosions. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go polish my Go-Bot collection…