Although I know nothing is ever as simple as it seems to be, there are times when being a sports fan in 2011 is just too damned complicated. Perhaps all those heroes of the past had their problems but they weren’t subject to the same 24-7 media scrutiny that we have today. Maybe it’s just a case of ignorance is bliss. Either way, I’ve found that being a fan has involved a bit more moralistic tap dancing than I’d like.

Last week, the New England Patriots traded for Washington Redskins defensive tackle Albert Haynesworth. Bundled in the package is a matched set of baggage which includes tremendous natural talent, attitude problems, and a criminal background. Maybe he can become a good football player again, but judging from what I’ve read, there’s not much doubt that Albert Haynesworth isn’t a very good person.

After spending a week trying to reconcile my feelings about this, I’ve come to the conclusion that I hate the move. It doesn’t matter how much of a difference he could make, this is not the kind of person I want playing for my team. Sure, the Pats and Bill Belichick have a history of taking troublemakers into their system and spitting out functional players who contribute positively to the team and sometimes even the community – Corey Dillon, Bryan Cox, and Randy Moss are cited as examples.

Randy Moss was the last time I had this feeling in the pit of my stomach because he was a player that I absolutely loathed. He was blessed with all the talent in the world and yet couldn’t keep his mouth shut. He’d quit on plays or give full effort only when he wanted to. Blocking was a foreign concept to him. However, when it came time to bring him onto the team, I was willing to see what happened. Surely if he dogged it Belichick would send him packing – it wasn’t like they had anything invested in him at the beginning, so they could take a chance. What made this reasoning easy was that despite his attitude, Moss had been productive and seemed to care about football. In some ways, I couldn’t blame him for quitting on the Raiders because they’d been sucking the life out of their fans for years with bad roster moves, and poor drafting under the watchful eyes of Al Davis’ undead corpse. If you were one of the best wide receivers in football history and suddenly found yourself trying to catch off-target dying quails from Aaron Brooks and Kerry Collins, can you honestly say it’d be easy to run out there and give it 100%?

Haynesworth is a different matter altogether. In ten years, he’s had two seasons that could be described as dominant and wouldn’t ya know it, he was playing for a big contract at the time. After snookering Washington into signing him to the biggest contract in NFL history for a defensive lineman, he promptly became very ordinary before segueing into a complete pain in the ass. It’s the profile of someone who doesn’t appear to care that much about football aside from how he can steal as much money as possible before retiring. That being said, the Pats traded a 2013 fifth-round pick for the guy – that’s as close to nothing as you can get in the NFL – meaning they gave up a future special teams player for the guy. Combine that with a contract that allows them to cut him prior to the regular season without having to pay out his full salary and it’s a low-risk move.

So what’s not to like? How about the fact Albert paralyzed someone because he was driving his Ferrari over 100 mph and crashed into the victim’s car? Perhaps the fact he’s going to court this week for sexual assault charges for groping a waitress? Maybe the fact he has some serious road rage and threw a punch during a traffic altercation? It’s one thing to be a doofus, but this guy’s boneheaded decisions hurt people.

Wait, I can hear the fans now… I don’t care what he does off the field – it’s what he does on the field that counts. Fine. How about the time he tried to stomp on an opposing player’s head, missed, and then took another shot – requiring 30 stitches for the other guy? That happened on the field. How about that? Again, this is where Haynesworth has separated himself from the pack (and not in a good way) – perhaps Moss was a pain in the ass, but he never attempted to put a hole in someone’s forehead mid-game. Kind of a difference there.

Everyone deserves a second chance, but not necessarily from everybody. I hope Fat Albert reveals his true colors right off the bat so he can be cut and pollute someone else’s roster. Maybe it’ll happen, maybe it won’t – but I’ll be a lot happier when this chump isn’t wearing my team’s colors anymore, that much I’m sure of.